Some of the funniest words are spoken on the spur of the moment. This is a collection of ten brilliant or witty quotes. If you have a favorite witty quote, be sure to put it in the comments for all to enjoy.
1. W. C. Fields
I always keep a supply of stimulant handy in case I see a snake, which I also keep handy.
I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally.
2. Oscar Wilde
I am not young enough to know everything.
And as he was probably one of the most witty men in history, we need another:
Anyone who lives within their means suffers from a lack of imagination.
3. Sir Winston Churchill
Lady Nancy Astor (to Churchill): “Sir, you’re drunk!”Churchill: “Yes, Madam, I am. But in the morning, I will be sober and you will still be ugly.”
Churchill and Astor are famous for these repartees, so I have to include a second:
Lady Astor: “If you were my husband, I’d put arsenic in your coffee.”Churchill: “Madam, if I were your husband, I’d drink it!”